I'm tall, thanks for telling me 50 times!

I’m finding myself constantly faced with a conflict in my head, some would say evil takes over and I have to remove myself from a situation before I say something socially unacceptable.

Standing at over six feet tall I am subjected to multiple tall comments the moment I leave my house. This weekend I did not even have to step outside my front gate as we invited over a hundred guests into our home for my sister’s engagement party. As a result tall comments were delivered directly to my door!! It’s not at all that I mind my height, I don’t! What I find frustrating is the idea that it’s not rude to tell someone fifty times over that they are tall, but if you make one comment on someone’s weight, race or shortness you automatically become the worst person in the world! Society has complete double standards about tall comments, it’s enough to make me wish I was much taller so my head could be in the clouds and their comments could be directed at my bum, that way I could really meet them with the response they deserve. The issue is that I constantly have to bite my tongue when fatties and hobbits tell me I’m tall over and OVER again!! I have tried many ways of meeting these comments however my evil twin has other ideas,

HOBBIT says: Oh my god, you are soooo tall
EVIL TWIN says: really, I didn’t know! Am I as tall as you are ugly?

OR

HOBBIT says: You’re like the tallest girl I have ever seen. Do you find it hard to meet men your height?
EVIL TWIN says: surely someone as vertically challenged as you would know size doesn’t matter.

Finally, I struggle most to resist the temptation to state the obvious,

FAT MAN says: Wow you’re like a giant! How tall are you?
EVIL TWIN says: A bit over six foot. You’re super fat! How much do you weigh?

The moral to the story is, I leave people’s fatness, ugliness, shortness, boringness and stupidity alone. It’s time for them to back off on my tallness!!!


Cartoon from: http://www.cartoonstock.com