Into the Wild

The Sydney single scene is madness! Female tigers ditch their stripes and eagerly bolt down George Street whilst throwing back the local river water- vodka. They have been locked away in their cages all day and now they are ready to perform as the clock ticks past five on a Friday afternoon. Down to the river they bound as they are off to tackle their pray… Blissfully unaware of the pack moving in on them the penguins wait. They can be found huddled together around Ryan’s River waiting for Hendrix to flow over the ice cold rocks into their dry salivating beaks. Alas it is the weekend, time to drink away their worries and forget about all the chicks to feed when there are not enough fish in the sea. This unusual bread of Penguin comes in all shapes and sizes. Although predominantly black from behind they come in short, tall, large and small. What appears to be ideal pray may turn around and suddenly not be all that he seemed. Tigers with a well trained eye know there are some things to look for when assessing a penguin, consider the pads on his feet, the colour of his chest, the cleanliness of his hair and most of all the smell from his beak! Ladies, don’t be fooled by a cluster of penguins; no two are alike leaving them unpredictable for any tiger who considers them as pray. To some it may seem unusual to find both Penguins and Tigers in the same place, but this world is every bit as weird and wacky as it seems. There are no rules to guide how you play the game only that you must be over eighteen enter, anything else is fair play. Remember, if you are stepping into the wild this week try not to stand too close to the river as your eye sight may become limited, your tiger instincts may become out of control and in some situations you could start to pounce on meat too young for your years or too old, tough and grey. To avoid this disaster keep a fellow tiger close at all times. Other tigers can be the difference between surviving in the wild and being devoured by a penguin when you least expect it.

An UnChair Affair

You know you are not going to have a good day when you get to work and your chair is missing! I have been in my job for two years now and without know it I have formed quite an attachment to my chair. I had not thought about this until I arrived at work yesterday and it was gone! Now I can't get comfortable on the new grey chair that sits in it's place. The gray chair is not welcome under my desk and it I get the impression it feels the same way about me. The back of it leans so far towards me that it feels as though it wants to push me off, on top of this the arms on it don't fit under my desk. This chair and I will not be friends.