oldness

Here is a secret I have learnt from growing old; Firstly, just because we think someone is old it doesn’t meant they feel old! The motto I have applied to my life is “fake it until you make it”, now I am thinking I will have to use that with relation to my age as well. I don’t feel how I always thought 23 year olds must feel, or act how I thought 23 year olds would act, I don’t even think I look how I remember 23 year olds looking. I am not much of a planner so I cannot even tell you if I have reached the point in life I hoped to meet by this time. All I can say is when I cut my birthday cake today and blew out the candles I did not have anything to wish for. I didn’t wish for the latest cabbage patch kid as I outgrew those years ago (sadly). I didn’t wish for my kids to go away and give me 5 minutes peace! I did not wish for my arthritis and bad back to go away. For what seems to be the first time in my life there really isn’t anything I’d wish for that I don’t have. So for me, 23 feels like success! I’m still standing, even if I am a bubble child from way back I have made it and 23 will soon fit like an old shoe.

I'm still tall

Friday- a big day for tall comments...
In one day I had my graduation, went shopping and went clubbing. All these events involved a HUGE number of tall comments!!!! Probably more comments in one day than ever before.
Standing at the counter buying a top with my mum. - MUM IS 5 foot 4.

Shop assistant: wow you're tall, where did you get your height from?

ME: My mum, can't you tell.

SNAP!

I had to turn around because her reaction was so funny I couldn't hold in the giggles!!!

Working with kids who don't live with their biological families I am constantly thinking about how I would react to these comments if I had did not know my biological family and was adopted or fostered by a family of shorties. Comments like these would remind these kids every day that they were the odd one out in their new family.

Honestly I think I had about 35 tall comments directed to my face in one day. Not to mention all those which I could hear when I walked past. People are shockers. I hope fugly people don't face this number of comments on their appearance.

New Graduate

Yesterday I graduated, FINALLY!!! 4 years, a hundred billion essays and thousands of dollars spent on transport and fees, I made it! It was a surreal moment when I put on my gown and hat and held my piece of paper loud and proud. All through uni I have loved watching people on their graduation day. The uni comes to life with the babble of excited chatter and when you watch everyone in their academic dress it’s easy to imagine you have slipped into a Harry Potter book! I’d have to say that wearing the gown and hat was the absolute highlight of the event! Actually walking onto stage and collecting the certificate was slightly scary but running around with my friends in our “dress ups” made everything so special. I was left feeling very disheartened when I had to hand back my gown and hat and wear my normal clothes, knowing that to repeat that moment it would take many more years of study!
This got me thinking, is everything more fun when you get to wear dress ups? Maybe the 4 year old boys we pass at the shops have the right idea when they are dressed head to toe like superman! Or little girls who hop around on the spot dressed as fairies as they wait for their mums to finish chatting to other s in the street. Kids at that age don’t know “what’s hot and what’s not” in the same way that we do. They just wear what makes them feel good- even if this means wearing a skivvy under your princess dress in winter to keep mum happy! Recently when I have been dressing for work I have tried to add a touch of fun every day. I’ll add on a fancy head band or sparkly shoes to an otherwise boring outfit at the last moment. It’s so easy to get bogged down in the mundane routines which make up our days, our weeks and our years, it’s important to jazz it up a bit. Compare young boys wearing superman suits to grown men wearing business suits while doing the shopping and think about who is enjoying life more in that moment…
The sad thing is, we get old and boring and a 50 year old man shopping in a spiderman suit doesn’t have the same sweet charm as a little kid- in fact he may require a mental health check! I find it hard to believe that a lady dressed as a fairy would ever make it as CEO in a work place. So while we have to wait for themed parties to go all out with our outfits, I think it is important on a daily basis to add on a wacky tie or a few too many bangles to add some sparkle to our days.

love my friends, hate their cameras

I have been caught out many a time by a snap happy friend when I am in a slightly vulnerable state after one too many wines. Friends who assist you to get drunk and then encourage you to do silly things for the camera are the worst!!! On the weekend a friend of mine was convinced to skid along a tiled floor in her trackies for photos! The pain she experienced was bad enough when she woke up with blue welts on her knees but then to turn on her computer and find the images plastered on Facebook really was a good way to top it off. I use the experience of a friend as an example because all my classy clicks have been too incriminating to mention. As a result of being snapped smashed too many times I think there should be a rule where if a buddy is blind they should have the opportunity to view the photos and veto the terrible, tragic ones prior to them appearing on Facebook for all the frienemies, work colleagues and past, present and future love interests to see.
Below are a few photos of people who have been snapped in the act. Laugh away, hopefully none of these images include you…

friends

It seems to me that there comes a time where you grow up and really appreciate what you have. In the day to day grind of work and mundane activities we sometimes forget how lucky we are. For some, it only takes a short weekend away to realise exactly what they have. For me I have found that after having the same group of girl friends for over a decade we often get on each other’s nerves. Over the past 12 months I have started to see that when push comes to shove we are there for each other when it really counts. “Frenemies” relates to the friendship where people are friends to your face but enemies the moment you turn your back. I have to say, me and my girls are the opposite. Face to face we can often give each other hell but with my back turned I know these are the girls who will jump to my defense. We’re the lucky ones, for now we still have the opportunity to get away, have a few drinks and a sing along to reunite. I hate to think of the number of friendships which go down the drain due to not having the time to maintain them. Like anything worth having, friendships- strong and enduring ones, take work. I hope 20 years from now we can put children, jobs, partners, houses, pets and other responsibilities on hold and have a weekend together, drinking and dancing, passing out with five in a bed and then waking in the morning for a cup of tea and chatter filled with giggles and moments when we say “oh remember back when we…”

I blame hallmark and soppy quotes scribbled across girls high school folders for the unrealistic expectations we place on our friends. No matter how much we care about people we are not super heroes and therefore it is impossible for us to know their feelings at every time of the day. There is this idea that a good friend should be able to know we need them without us even asking. I believe this is a common misconception which could have terrible repercussions. Part of being a good friend is respecting that people have their own lives and may not always be able to think of our feelings so we may need to give them the heads up. This doesn’t mean they care any less it just means they too have lives, and really who wants a friend who doesn’t have a life of their own! I reckon the best kind of friendship is one in which we may have to ask for help, but we can rest assured knowing it’s only a phone call away.

Sheeping

Image stolen from http://seekhispurpose.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/sheep.jpg

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about “sheeping”. Sheeping, in case you aren’t already familiar with the term, refers to those commonly known as” followers”. Sheeping is the act of following another person’s actions or decisions in an attempt to remain dependent, stuck on mainstream activities and avoid the possibility of- heaven forbid, doing something different to your friends or colleagues. I am guilty of beign a sheep at times. Over time I have seen that I really respect the decisions and judgments of a certain co worker so in situations when I am unsure of my opinion I tend to let hers influence mine. Problem? I think not. In social situations I may be slightly sheepish, if I am invited to two things in one night and I can’t decide I may base my decision based on being excited to see certain people at one event. So I guess we all have an inner sheep. Bad I have to say, when you are trying to organise an event and no one wants to be the first to confirm their attendance in case they are the only ones, it’s damn annoying!

72 thanks to you!

Dear Phantom readers,

I am pleased to announce my blog has had 72 views! As much as my only follower (my sister) loves me, I am pretty sure she does not make up the entire 72 views. I am assuming she would answer for about 68 so here is the big question… where did the other four hits come from!? From now on my plan is to get people addicted to the word vomit I spill here, then change my settings so you have to join to read, finally I’d be able to find out who you are so I could send you a card to say thanks for allowing me to waste your precious time.

I can hardly blame you for not wanting to click “follow” and admit you check in here every now and then, funnily enough, here I sit, too embarrassed to admit to people I actually write this dribble. So, what loads blogs up with the dork factor so much? The reality is, if half my friends found out about this space they would pull out their thermometers and check my health! Really though, they should be happy about it! If we keep in mind what a chatter box I am, I’d have to say that this blog is doing a public service! Now, after finding the words, the time and the energy to type an entry on here, the last thing I can be bothered doing is talking about the same stuff, thus, saving my friends from being subjected to my useless rants for hours on end.

So thank you Mr Blog and phantom readers, one day I hope to be able to repay you!

teary me

Photo stolen from:http://myyearonline.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/marley.jpg

I must confess that I am glad to be one of those dorks who cries in movies. I love a good film that sucks me in to the extent that I feel genuine emotions. I think it takes strength to block out everything else and become so intensely involved with what’s in front of you. So, if you ever sat through “Marley and Me” without floods of tears exploding out of your eyes I think you need to get your tear ducts checked, similarly, I’d be concerned if you sat through the proposal without sliding down your seat with laughter. That is all; I thought you may be wondering…

Back to school...

IMAGE: http://lifeinthefastlane.com

Last night I took a step backwards and forwards all at once. I went to my old school to talk about my “career” with current students. The school considered this event as an opportunity to inspire young girls to seek work in the future, not just husbands/financial providers. With nothing to lose I went along feeling very mature. I knew that at the very least this would give me a chance to say “I told you so” to all the teachers who saw very little in my future.

As I got ready that morning I thought about what I could wear that would show I was successful and committed I am to my “profession” while still maintaining that individual streak they complained about in my school reports. I chucked on my favourite work skirt- cute and classy, with my most comfortable and practical work shoes and I wore a black top in case I spilt a little lunch down my front throughout the day. Finally I opened a new packet of black stockings to show my school teachers that, five years on I could finally manage an entire day without laddering my stockings!

I arrived at the old school gates, locked the company car, and turned both my work phone and personal phone on silent- I thought damn I wish I was on pager right now! Anyway, I felt good. I was a bit late which is to be expected from a working girl, but I had informed them previously that this would be the case. I bumped into an old teacher Mr G, who said that he was pleased to have a representative from my family here and was thrilled to see my name on the list. I wanted to say, “I would have been thrilled to see my family represented on a few more trophies around the school” but I bit my tongue, he was a good teacher so I wasn’t going to give him a hard time. I politely responded that I was happy to come and share the knowledge I had acquired since school, then I was quickly swept away for supper with the other “mentors”.

To my surprise a girl who tends to ignore me on public transport approached and talked to me (interrupting the conversation I was already in)

Her: Emily! What are you working as?

Me: I’m a social worker

Her: Oh, do you even have to go to uni for that? I thought it was TAFE or something.

Me: Yes four years full time. So where are you working?

Her: Oh I’m still at uni, I don’t actually work while I study

Me: Well when u do graduate and start full time work, out paths may cross. I work a lot in family law.

SNAP!

Anyway the point of this post is to remind people that others will ALWAYS try put you down. Work hard and let their remarks slide, one day it will be your turn!!!

FYI- I got home and tripped over my dog, I ripped a massive hole in my stockings and took all the skin off my knee and hands, some things never change!!!

I'm tall, thanks for telling me 50 times!

I’m finding myself constantly faced with a conflict in my head, some would say evil takes over and I have to remove myself from a situation before I say something socially unacceptable.

Standing at over six feet tall I am subjected to multiple tall comments the moment I leave my house. This weekend I did not even have to step outside my front gate as we invited over a hundred guests into our home for my sister’s engagement party. As a result tall comments were delivered directly to my door!! It’s not at all that I mind my height, I don’t! What I find frustrating is the idea that it’s not rude to tell someone fifty times over that they are tall, but if you make one comment on someone’s weight, race or shortness you automatically become the worst person in the world! Society has complete double standards about tall comments, it’s enough to make me wish I was much taller so my head could be in the clouds and their comments could be directed at my bum, that way I could really meet them with the response they deserve. The issue is that I constantly have to bite my tongue when fatties and hobbits tell me I’m tall over and OVER again!! I have tried many ways of meeting these comments however my evil twin has other ideas,

HOBBIT says: Oh my god, you are soooo tall
EVIL TWIN says: really, I didn’t know! Am I as tall as you are ugly?

OR

HOBBIT says: You’re like the tallest girl I have ever seen. Do you find it hard to meet men your height?
EVIL TWIN says: surely someone as vertically challenged as you would know size doesn’t matter.

Finally, I struggle most to resist the temptation to state the obvious,

FAT MAN says: Wow you’re like a giant! How tall are you?
EVIL TWIN says: A bit over six foot. You’re super fat! How much do you weigh?

The moral to the story is, I leave people’s fatness, ugliness, shortness, boringness and stupidity alone. It’s time for them to back off on my tallness!!!


Cartoon from: http://www.cartoonstock.com