Thoughts of a lonely lover..

I'm flying back to Sydney from Adelaide aware I won't see Rich for at least another month. It's a weird kind of marriage but it is what it is and I wouldn't want anyone else. I try rationalise it- our time together is so good maybe it would be greedy to have that all the time. I know that's silly but it's hard to accept that we'll pretty much be apart from now until November as he'll be in Perth until June then off to the Middle East. As I'm a planner I tend to think of the future and the big picture however I'm learning- being married to someone in the military means sometimes you have to take things one day at a time. I'm working on something us counsellors would call "cognitive reframe" by challenging some of the "poor me" thoughts I've been having. The first thought I used to have all the time is "he's chosen to be in the navy and because of that we're apart so he needs to be there for me" I probably didn't think enough about the fact that this is hard for him too. I'm not completely at fault because he never talked about anything to show he needed support but he does. Now when I'm feeling like I'm going to fall apart I think "come on Em be strong for your husband he needs you" for some reason this helps me to put my tears to one side, take a deep breath and be present for the little bits of time we do have together. I'll be strong for my marriage, I chose him with open eyes so I chose this too. The second thought I've been having is "from the moment we say goodbye every second is closer to when we'll see each other again". This has been helping me get on with things. The first few days are the hardest so just chip away because they won't last forever, he won't be gone forever, you can't cry forever- eventually there will be sleep and then you're another day closer to his embrace.